Yes, you can live your best life!

Posts Tagged ‘mindset

Everyone wants to feel as though people actually care about them. With the daily hustle of life, at times it’s hard to catch up with friends. For me, I’m newly married. Not by any means am I saying being married is a hinderance to my friendships, but I will say adding a husband to the mix makes life even busier. Yet, with my faithful planner and scheduled times for “friendship”dates with my girls, dividing my time between working full time, my children, my hubby and friends is doable. At times, tiring, but honestly I wouldn’t change a thing. 

Since Facebook came on the scene (along with other social media) people have become obsessed with “Likes” and “Follows.” Granted for some, being on social media has really taken their life to the next level. 

I’m still waiting for The Steve Harvey Show or Tyler Perry to contact me. But then again…I don’t have a million followers and not that many people are interested in my life to say the least. My “like” numbers are way below stardom level. 

But then again I consider my life pretty simply. Yes, I have some awesome gifts that I attempt to share with the world daily, my focus is on pleasing God. Recently, I stepped away from social media. (Well, just the ones that allow people to “Like” or “follow” you.) I simply wanted to live my life without posting my every move or my every thought out there for my “friend list” to see. I wanted to indulge in my real friendships without “friends” simply “liking” my staus. And for others just to see your business online and say they know you. When in reality all they know is your status.

FYI…People hide behind statues all the time! 

I can honestly say the time I removed myself from social media I was able to focus on more important things. I actually was able to get a lot done because I wasn’t consumed with scrolling though my timeline to see what people were doing. What I can honestly say is that those who actually care about you, check on you. Real friends call to set up lunch dates or call/text to check you.

Here are some things I’ve learned from NOT updating my status:

  1.  I am blessed to have great friends outside of social media. I have great friends that actually care about made and my family. 
  2. Facebook stalkers are REAL. They don’t really care about you, they just want to know your business. 
  3. When you don’t post about your relationship for some time, people assume you two aren’t doing good. So sad. 
  4. I can accomplish so much more by directing my focus towards things of importance. 
  5. Social media won’t become a mini God in my life. I gotta keep Christ first.
  6. Many people on social media ain’t talking about anything important.
  7. God can speak to me freely without having to compete with my addiction to social media. 
  8. Social media can become addictive. 

I want to encourage all those who are reading this to take a break from social media for a set amount of time. Trust me, you will still live. Life will go on. Focus on not putting anything before God. Learn to be still and listen to your inner self. Learn you are valuable and important outside of Social media. 


The older I get the more God opens my eyes to the different personalities of people. Some of these personalities blend well with mine, while there are others who leave me hurt and confused by their actions. 

Back in 2008, Bishop TD Jakes spoke a sermon on the three types of friends. As he proceeds into his sermon he warns those listening to watch out for the character of people. 

The first group are CONFIDONTS. You will have very few of these on your life. These are your “ride or die” type of friends. They will be in your corner through Hell and high water. Whether you are up or down, they will have your back. These people don’t drain you, but rather pour back into your life so that you can pour into others. I can honestly say, I know who these people are in my life. 

The next group are the CONSTITUENTS. These people are not about you. They are merely into what you’re for. They aren’t really into you. They aren’t really your friend. They are in your life only because they like what you like. 

The third group are the COMRADES. This group of people are really not in your life for the long term. They come for a certain purpose, then they leave. Don’t expect them to react to your visions/dreams/goals the way you thought they would because they never really believed in you in the first place. 

Be careful who you tell your dreams to. 

During this year, God has truly shown me who these three types of people are in my life. I vent to God and to my husband regarding how I thought certain people were my “true” friends, yet their actions prove something different. My weakness is that I always believe the best in people. I don’t want to think bad of anyone, but some people just need to exit my life. 

It hurts that I have ask for help or support from people that I’ve wholeheartedly supported during their time of acting on the vision God has given them. For example,  I can send text messages for support with no responses. Only to send a follow up a few days later asking if they got my text, and their answer is, “yes.” Wow, I was totally disregarded. Hurts, but I know God has a plan. 

Everyone in your life is not going to be for you when you need them. This I know as truth. But, God will always be there and will supply you with not only what you need, but also put you in the company of those who will help you. 

Never give up on your dreams and goals because it seems like no one supports you. If God gave you the dream all you need to do is keep believing and trust him. Trust him, one step at a time. Trust him, one day at a time. 

Below, i’ve attached the video of the sermon if you’re interested in hearing it.

https://youtu.be/DjnuvrhZ4FU

I took this picture one day while on my way home. I couldn’t resist as I passed by and saw the beautiful rays of lights coming through the clouds. To many this is nothing but a break in the clouds, but to me it reminded me how important it is to let my light (my love for Christ) shine in this dark world. 

The many thoughts, ways, customs and views that surround us daily can at times be very consuming. There are hate groups, hate crimes, racial profiling, depression and mental illness all around us everyday. So what can one must do? 

Still show love! ❤ 

Light will always win against darkness. Love will always overpower hate. Yes, at times tears and blood may be shed, but we can not give up. I myself pray. I pray for peace, love and harmony. I pray that we would humble ourselves and seek the face of God. I pray that although I am not perfect that I will be a light in a dark world. 

I can only start with me. Change starts with me. I can pray for others. I can be an example. I can show love and forgiveness. One step and day at a time will I try to be the best me I can be. One day at a time, I will focus on being a Ray of light in someone’s life. I pray you too will be a light

Be encouraged. 

One of the hardest things for me to do at times is letting go. Whether it’s letting go of habits that need to be changed, clothes that no longer fit or people in my life whose season has come and gone. I will admit, I’m just that type of person that tried to hold on even after God and the person has shown me that they are not beneficial for the place he is taking me. 

Letting go hurts.

But letting go is where God has me right now. Over the course of this year he has shown me who my core friends are. These are the friends that call/text to check on me and my family. These are the friends who make an effort to ensure our friendship is solid and real. Life is busy for all, but when someone takes time to hang out with you, they really value your friendship. These are the friends that support your dreams and goals. Even if they have no personal intrest in what you are trying to do, they still make sure you know you are supported. 

I never have to ask my real friends for support. And they never have to ask me to support them in what they are trying to accomplish. That is just what true friendship is…

It hurts, but letting go of some people has actually given me more peace. Finally I am realizing who are my ride and die friends, as opposed to those who are only in my life to benefit them. 

I am so over being there for some people and they are not there for me. When they have a new book or anything exciting going on their lives, I buy whatever it is. I am,there for their event. Yet, I don’t get the same love back. 

Confusing…

I am so over texting people and there is no response. Yet, when they see me out and about they feel guilty and instantly remember I texted them. Naw, you can keep that type of friendship! 

Yes it hurts to let some people go, but I now see them for who they are. I trust God to introduce new people to me that will value the type of friendship I care to share. I trust God with my heart because it is broken by the actions of others. I trust God with my future. I trust God with my life. 

To the left, to the left! I forgive you, but I’m moving on. 

I am totally a people person, but sometimes liking people can be difficult. I say this because when I consider you a friend, I give 110%. But, often times i’m the one who gets the short end of the stick in the friendship/relationship. 

Because I’m a natural extrovert (and a dental hygient) my first instinct is to engage in conversation. I love to talk and encourage people. But, sometimes people can be really mean. I try to remain focused because their actions have nothing to do with me. I was just the one on the receiving end from the stress they were enduring. 

For example the other day, I brought my patient back to begin his appointment. This is a gentleman I see every six months, who is generally a upbeat person. But, this time he had a chip on his shoulder. I had him sit in my chair and I asked, “How are you today?” His response was, “I’m here!” It kinda took me off guard cause it was kinda a smart out the mouth answer. But, I let it go and proceeded to clean his teeth. 

Unbeit known to me until he told me, he also had an appointment with the dentist right after his cleaning in which he was to have some teeth extracted and other stuff completed. Apparently this had him on edge. 

When he first responded in a different manner, I am so glad I focused on the man I previously knew and not the anxious one sitting in my chair that day. For one moment, I didn’t like him, but God reminded me to still show love regardless. And i’m glad I did. 

My personality never changed despite how I was responded to and I believe God took noticed and was pleased by my actions. 

So remember when you encounter someone who may be  short with you in their responses or manner, it may not have anything to do with you. Unfortunately, you are just the receiver for all the stress and pressure they’ve endured. Yes, at that moment it’s hard to  like the person, but you must always show love. ❤

The other day my husband bought me some flowers. The bouquet was beautiful, but at first the purple flowers pictured were closed. It wasn’t until the next day or so that they finally decided to open and show their beautiful color. 

This reminded me of how I’ve prayed for something, but regardless of how hard I prayed and begged God for it. Either his answer was no, or it wasn’t the right time. Getting use to trusting God’s timing isn’t always easy, but we must do it. God knows best whether we want to believe it or not. 

Sometimes, No is the answer. Be okay with that. 

Flowers bloom when it’s time and God blesses at the right time. Any moment to early or too late would probably cause an issue. Just like getting something we are not ready to receive yet can be an issue. What if you’re not ready? Then maybe you wouldn’t appreciate your blessing. Just like asking to be married; if you’re not prepared to be a wife or husband then you will not know how to treat your forever blessing. I speak from experience! 

So I want to encourage you to be patient while you wait for your prayer to be answered. Rejoice and have a grateful heart in the mean time. Trust God heard you and he sees your tomorrow, so simply relax. 


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