Yes, you can live your best life!

Posts Tagged ‘letting go

The older I get the more God opens my eyes to the different personalities of people. Some of these personalities blend well with mine, while there are others who leave me hurt and confused by their actions. 

Back in 2008, Bishop TD Jakes spoke a sermon on the three types of friends. As he proceeds into his sermon he warns those listening to watch out for the character of people. 

The first group are CONFIDONTS. You will have very few of these on your life. These are your “ride or die” type of friends. They will be in your corner through Hell and high water. Whether you are up or down, they will have your back. These people don’t drain you, but rather pour back into your life so that you can pour into others. I can honestly say, I know who these people are in my life. 

The next group are the CONSTITUENTS. These people are not about you. They are merely into what you’re for. They aren’t really into you. They aren’t really your friend. They are in your life only because they like what you like. 

The third group are the COMRADES. This group of people are really not in your life for the long term. They come for a certain purpose, then they leave. Don’t expect them to react to your visions/dreams/goals the way you thought they would because they never really believed in you in the first place. 

Be careful who you tell your dreams to. 

During this year, God has truly shown me who these three types of people are in my life. I vent to God and to my husband regarding how I thought certain people were my “true” friends, yet their actions prove something different. My weakness is that I always believe the best in people. I don’t want to think bad of anyone, but some people just need to exit my life. 

It hurts that I have ask for help or support from people that I’ve wholeheartedly supported during their time of acting on the vision God has given them. For example,  I can send text messages for support with no responses. Only to send a follow up a few days later asking if they got my text, and their answer is, “yes.” Wow, I was totally disregarded. Hurts, but I know God has a plan. 

Everyone in your life is not going to be for you when you need them. This I know as truth. But, God will always be there and will supply you with not only what you need, but also put you in the company of those who will help you. 

Never give up on your dreams and goals because it seems like no one supports you. If God gave you the dream all you need to do is keep believing and trust him. Trust him, one step at a time. Trust him, one day at a time. 

Below, i’ve attached the video of the sermon if you’re interested in hearing it.

https://youtu.be/DjnuvrhZ4FU

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We all have a past. For many, some of the decisions that were made were not the best. But regardless, all decisions have led you to be who you are today. Yes, better choices could have your life on a different path, but you have to stop beating yourself up and keep pushing forward. Focus on the present and how to make your future better. 

If you keep allowing yourself to focus on past mistakes, you will never see the blessings of today. God is so forgiving despite what people think. But often it’s us who can’t forgive ourselves. 

If in the past a business venture didn’t work out, try it again. Do something different than before. Put a twist on it.  Faith will take you a long way. If a relationship ended that you wanted badly, cry hard one good time and let it go. There is someone out there who wants to love you. You are amazing. 

Never accept defeat! 

The past is there to teach us, but we can’t wallow in it. If God has given you a new day, take hold of it and make the best of it. You are awesome. You are not your past. You have potentional. 

Believe in yourself and your future!


Have you ever been in any type of relationship that was draining to you? You would put your all in time and time again, only to walk away unfulfilled, exhausted and frustrated at the end of the day. Often times it’s because that relationship is not for you, so stop trying to force it to work. 
Relationships take true efforts and work from all those involved. One can not be a taker and never contribute anything towards its growth. Relationships take nurturing and time. True relationships should mean more than liking a picture or status on social media. It should possess the effort of meeting in person at different times and talking face to face. 

If you are the good seed in the relationship and you have the best intentions of growing, but you are feeling “choked” by the constant one-way efforts on your part. Then, you need to find better soil; a better relationship. Find one in which you can grow and you both are fulfilled. Find one in which it takes both involved to have the best results.

Stop wasting your time and efforts where you are not appreciated and uplifted. Plant yourself where you will grow.

What I have learned during my time here on earth is that everyone has an opinion? To some degree, to be opininated could be a good thing. That means you have your own mind and you are not afraid to express your feelings and views. But, what happens when your opinion is not warranted and has the ability to hurt someone in your process of expressing yourself? 

Honestly, no one can stop an opinionated person from saying whatever, but you can manage how you receive their opinions. Only you can allow what someone says to go in one ear and out the other. Or, you can allow their words to cause you to question how awesome you are as a person and keep you in bondage.

So what someone doesnt like your new dress. If you like it, that is all that matters. When you look in the mirror and only see fabulous then that’s all what counts. 

Where I see most people are still in bondage is when it comes to their past. Yes, you messed up way back when. But, you are a better person now. Stop allowing the opinions of others who knew you way back then, to keep you in your past. God has the ability to help anyone who wants to change. People are always evolving, so ignore the haters. Ignore those who never have anything positive to say. Ingore their opinions and keep pressing forward. 

Sometimes, you gotta make new friends!

We all have a past, but the great thing is that we all have a future too. God’s opinion of you is the only one that truly matters. I encourage you to live the very best life you can live and ignore any counteraction against what you are trying to achieve! 

I think we’ve all been there, giving our all to someone only to be blindsided that your all was not enough for that person. It hurts and the pain is real. But, after you’ve cried your last cry, you have to realize that you are enough. You are amazing. You are loving and you deserve to be loved in a healthy nurturing way. 

Just because that person did not value you or your love shouldn’t make you feel differently about yourself. If you gave it your all, then walk away from the relationship proud of the love you showed. Be proud that you maintained your self respect and self love. 

You will never be everything to everybody. Be ok with that. The right one will come at the right time…Gods timing. Some people will never appreciate a blessing until it’s gone. 

Never think of yourself as less than.You were born great. You were born with everything you need within you to succeed. Trust me, your disappearance out of their life will be an awakening. You were there for a reason. It may not have worked out the way you wanted it to, but it worked out for your good! 

You are enough and that should be enough.

I just watched a clip with David Chappelle as he talked to the late Maya Angelou. At one point in the discussion he eluded to the fact that in the 60’s with so many assassinations of great people why wasn’t she angry. She replied that she was angry and that it was okay to be angry for what happened. But, you can never allow bitterness to take a hold of your heart. Bitterness is like poison. This is so very true and once I learned this principle I was free…a new person.

I got a divorce in 2011, and after which I was full of emotions. I had heard about a class I could take at my church for those going through a divorce called, Divorce Care. Didn’t know too much about it, but thought I would give it a shot. They even had divorce care classes for the children, in which I thought was awesome.

In this class, I learned that it’s ok to be angry. I never knew that. I thought being angry was like committing a sin. I wanted to scream, shout and throw a fit due to how I felt I was treated, but I held it inside due to fear that God would be upset with me. There were many references in the Bible that showed it’s okay to be angry. Even God was angry at different times in the Bible, but the only thing is…you can not hold on to anger because it will turn into bitterness and that is not pleasing to God.

I will say, I believe one of my worst, yet best attributes is that I let things go. In time I just get over it and let it go. Life is too short. Now that I have learned that it’s ok to be angry, I embrace it (never denying my emotions), but I never allow it to take up residence in my heart. I don’t ever want my anger to turn into bitterness nor hatred.

I am still a work in progress, but I can now be free in knowing I’m normal and God is not going to cast me into Hell for getting angry. I love who I am and I love people. Do I agree with everything people do? Nope, but I can’t focus on that. I have to focus on being the best person I can be at all times. Praying and slow breathing help me to not “punch a person in the face.” LOL!! But, in the end, I am human. God knows I am trying. We talk daily and he helps me to not sweat the small stuff because he has a greater plan for my life.

So be encouraged, there’s nothing wrong with you. Embrace your emotions, but don’t allow them to set up shop. Learn to let stuff go and be FREE!

I got married in 2005. Should I had? Probably not, but I did. I thought I was getting old and I honestly wanted children. My boyfriend at the time was a good guy. I think we all have issues, but to be honest I ignored some red flags that I should have paid more attention to. For the most part he treated me nice. I really didn’t have any complaints. We argued and we made up. Typical I suppose for any relationship. One time we broke up, another female got in the picture and it was then I knew I didn’t want to be without him. Was I in love? No, but I did love him. So eventually we got engaged and a year to the day we met we got married. Fast to some, but we did it.

We got pregnant right away. All intentional. We wanted kids. Guess he thought he was getting old too. Had a boy, then got pregnant again and had another boy. Life got busy. Marriage got hard. More fights began to occur. Depression set in. I wanted to die.

One day he decided we should move south for a new start. Hey, I am a free-spirited person I went along with it. I packed up our four bedroom, two car garage and left the East without a job, only with my faith.

I felt imprisoned. I knew no one yet so I had to get to know the people he already knew. They were nice. They became like family. I was content for the most part, but I still longed for my own friends. Friends outside of the church we were attending.

In the South, things got worse before they got better. I began to fear for my life. It was like I was living two different lives. I smiled in front of people, but at home I was crying my eyes out like a baby. I didn’t want to live like this. God can not want me to live in such fear. One night I made a decision. This was one of the hardest decisions I had ever made. I decided I wanted a divorce. Getting a divorce would mean splitting up the family, but I was in so much pain, I only wanted peace. I didn’t want to take the boys away from their dad, but I really thought if I’d stayed I would have died.

Many people stay in marriages for the children, but that would not have been wise for me. They saw us arguing, and I didn’t want them growing up with that as a constant memory in their minds. My focus was on them. Their health and happiness. I didn’t want them to see us fighting or me crying everyday. I wanted their childhood to be full of great memories.

God made a way for me to leave. It took a lot of faith and courage. I left with no job and no money, but God provided for me and my boys everyday and in every way. My life is happy now and me and their dad are on good terms. Forgiveness played a big role and it took me years to totally forgive him, but I can honestly say I do and I am in a great place in my life.

For those in abusive relationships, I would encourage you to look out for you. Your happiness and well being are important to God. Love yourself and in faith make a decision that will cause you to get your happy back!


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