Yes, you can live your best life!

Posts Tagged ‘knowledge

Everyone wants to feel as though people actually care about them. With the daily hustle of life, at times it’s hard to catch up with friends. For me, I’m newly married. Not by any means am I saying being married is a hinderance to my friendships, but I will say adding a husband to the mix makes life even busier. Yet, with my faithful planner and scheduled times for “friendship”dates with my girls, dividing my time between working full time, my children, my hubby and friends is doable. At times, tiring, but honestly I wouldn’t change a thing. 

Since Facebook came on the scene (along with other social media) people have become obsessed with “Likes” and “Follows.” Granted for some, being on social media has really taken their life to the next level. 

I’m still waiting for The Steve Harvey Show or Tyler Perry to contact me. But then again…I don’t have a million followers and not that many people are interested in my life to say the least. My “like” numbers are way below stardom level. 

But then again I consider my life pretty simply. Yes, I have some awesome gifts that I attempt to share with the world daily, my focus is on pleasing God. Recently, I stepped away from social media. (Well, just the ones that allow people to “Like” or “follow” you.) I simply wanted to live my life without posting my every move or my every thought out there for my “friend list” to see. I wanted to indulge in my real friendships without “friends” simply “liking” my staus. And for others just to see your business online and say they know you. When in reality all they know is your status.

FYI…People hide behind statues all the time! 

I can honestly say the time I removed myself from social media I was able to focus on more important things. I actually was able to get a lot done because I wasn’t consumed with scrolling though my timeline to see what people were doing. What I can honestly say is that those who actually care about you, check on you. Real friends call to set up lunch dates or call/text to check you.

Here are some things I’ve learned from NOT updating my status:

  1.  I am blessed to have great friends outside of social media. I have great friends that actually care about made and my family. 
  2. Facebook stalkers are REAL. They don’t really care about you, they just want to know your business. 
  3. When you don’t post about your relationship for some time, people assume you two aren’t doing good. So sad. 
  4. I can accomplish so much more by directing my focus towards things of importance. 
  5. Social media won’t become a mini God in my life. I gotta keep Christ first.
  6. Many people on social media ain’t talking about anything important.
  7. God can speak to me freely without having to compete with my addiction to social media. 
  8. Social media can become addictive. 

I want to encourage all those who are reading this to take a break from social media for a set amount of time. Trust me, you will still live. Life will go on. Focus on not putting anything before God. Learn to be still and listen to your inner self. Learn you are valuable and important outside of Social media. 


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The other day I wrote a post on my other blog Foyokno about 15 things about me. I thought it would be unfair to not include the readers of this blog with a little insight as to who I am. 

So here it goes…

1. I’m a extreme extrovert, but I do like to be alone at times. And when I do people automatically think something is wrong with me. 

2. In college I graduated cum laude, and when my couselor told me the news I had no idea what it meant. I thought it meant I failed. LOL

3. One thing on my buket list is to travel from the West to the East in a RV. 

4. I once dated a Muslim and I’m a Christian. We didn’t work out in the long run, but I thought he was cool and we had fun together. 

5. I can’t hold my breath while swimming. Wierd, but true. 

6. My favorite color is green.

7. One day I would love to meet Steve Harvey. 

8. My long time crush is Usher.

9. I’m afraid of heights, but flying in a plane is fine with me. 

10. I secretly hide to eat sweets so my children won’t ask for any. 

11. When I was young I use to play with fire. That was until I set myself in fire. Ouch!

12. I’ve never been to a Caucasian funeral. 

13. I hate to hear people chew. 

14. People call me a “cool” Christian. Whatever that means?!?!

15. My favorite comedy show to watch as a child was Eddie Murphy’s – Raw. (pray for me. LOL)

Well there you have it. My transparency. I love my life and I don’t mind sharing. What is one thing about you that people don’t know about you? 

The older I get the more God opens my eyes to the different personalities of people. Some of these personalities blend well with mine, while there are others who leave me hurt and confused by their actions. 

Back in 2008, Bishop TD Jakes spoke a sermon on the three types of friends. As he proceeds into his sermon he warns those listening to watch out for the character of people. 

The first group are CONFIDONTS. You will have very few of these on your life. These are your “ride or die” type of friends. They will be in your corner through Hell and high water. Whether you are up or down, they will have your back. These people don’t drain you, but rather pour back into your life so that you can pour into others. I can honestly say, I know who these people are in my life. 

The next group are the CONSTITUENTS. These people are not about you. They are merely into what you’re for. They aren’t really into you. They aren’t really your friend. They are in your life only because they like what you like. 

The third group are the COMRADES. This group of people are really not in your life for the long term. They come for a certain purpose, then they leave. Don’t expect them to react to your visions/dreams/goals the way you thought they would because they never really believed in you in the first place. 

Be careful who you tell your dreams to. 

During this year, God has truly shown me who these three types of people are in my life. I vent to God and to my husband regarding how I thought certain people were my “true” friends, yet their actions prove something different. My weakness is that I always believe the best in people. I don’t want to think bad of anyone, but some people just need to exit my life. 

It hurts that I have ask for help or support from people that I’ve wholeheartedly supported during their time of acting on the vision God has given them. For example,  I can send text messages for support with no responses. Only to send a follow up a few days later asking if they got my text, and their answer is, “yes.” Wow, I was totally disregarded. Hurts, but I know God has a plan. 

Everyone in your life is not going to be for you when you need them. This I know as truth. But, God will always be there and will supply you with not only what you need, but also put you in the company of those who will help you. 

Never give up on your dreams and goals because it seems like no one supports you. If God gave you the dream all you need to do is keep believing and trust him. Trust him, one step at a time. Trust him, one day at a time. 

Below, i’ve attached the video of the sermon if you’re interested in hearing it.

https://youtu.be/DjnuvrhZ4FU

One of the hardest things for me to do at times is letting go. Whether it’s letting go of habits that need to be changed, clothes that no longer fit or people in my life whose season has come and gone. I will admit, I’m just that type of person that tried to hold on even after God and the person has shown me that they are not beneficial for the place he is taking me. 

Letting go hurts.

But letting go is where God has me right now. Over the course of this year he has shown me who my core friends are. These are the friends that call/text to check on me and my family. These are the friends who make an effort to ensure our friendship is solid and real. Life is busy for all, but when someone takes time to hang out with you, they really value your friendship. These are the friends that support your dreams and goals. Even if they have no personal intrest in what you are trying to do, they still make sure you know you are supported. 

I never have to ask my real friends for support. And they never have to ask me to support them in what they are trying to accomplish. That is just what true friendship is…

It hurts, but letting go of some people has actually given me more peace. Finally I am realizing who are my ride and die friends, as opposed to those who are only in my life to benefit them. 

I am so over being there for some people and they are not there for me. When they have a new book or anything exciting going on their lives, I buy whatever it is. I am,there for their event. Yet, I don’t get the same love back. 

Confusing…

I am so over texting people and there is no response. Yet, when they see me out and about they feel guilty and instantly remember I texted them. Naw, you can keep that type of friendship! 

Yes it hurts to let some people go, but I now see them for who they are. I trust God to introduce new people to me that will value the type of friendship I care to share. I trust God with my heart because it is broken by the actions of others. I trust God with my future. I trust God with my life. 

To the left, to the left! I forgive you, but I’m moving on. 

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I remember when me and my ex husband divorced, my “status” changed in many ways. On forms, I now had to check divorced, as opposed to married. I also had to come to grips with another toe curling stereotype title, single mom.

I hated that title more than anything. At the time of my separation and divorce I attended a very large church. Every Sunday I would see different couples file in with their children and there I was, all alone in a seat with no one beside me who was my partner. The groups I now had to join were either for women in general, or for single parents. When people found out I didn’t have a husband, although they were kind and meant no harm, to me they would always have this pity look on their face. Internally, this took a toil on me. I didn’t want to be different, but to some degree I was. So eventually, although it was difficult, I had to learn to embrace my role as a single mom.

Years went by and I finally accepted this is what God allowed to happen in my life. This season had a purpose. I needed to learn some lessons he was trying to teach before I could be blessed with a new mate. I had to learn that although I may be a “single mom” that I would always be a child of the King. You see, God doesn’t care about labels and statues, he cares about our heart. Over time and after many nights of crying and bargaining with God, I finally surrendered my will and ways and got on board with what God was trying to do in my life.

But, I still desired to be married again. Being a single female I felt uncovered by the “spiritual” protection from a God- fearing man. I knew the design God intended for the family to look like, and I wanted that back.

In time and after much prayer, God in his lovingness introduced me to a wonderful man. Although neither one of us is perfect, we accept our differences and choose to love regardless. I can honestly say he is my soul mate. One day we will become one and my title will change again. Finally, I will be able to check “married” when filling out forms as my heart desired. But what I love the most is that my status with God has never changed. He has loved me through each change, storm, hill and valley.

The greatest status I can ever claim is being a child of God. And because I am his child, he will never leave not forsake me. So whatever your “martial” status is today, don’t get so caught up in titles. Focus on your relationship with Christ because that is the only one that will last through eternity.

Just my thoughts…Adrian

Please take some time and watch my newest inspirational video. Thank you. Be blessed

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