Yes, you can live your best life!

Posts Tagged ‘forgiveness

Recently a family member of someone I know was placed in the ICU department of a certain hospital. Later when that person posted a update on Facebook to inform people of the status of their family member, they said they were loving on her as much as possible as she waited on Jesus. 

Her statment caused me to ponder. Isn’t that something we all are doing unconsciously? True, many of us are as healthy as a horse, but we all know this fact…at some point we will all die and meet Jesus. 

The factual and inevitible is that we are all on borrowed time. The day we took our first breath, an end date was given to us. No one knows this end date or how the end date will transpire, that is why it is very important to live the best and happiest life you can. 

My encouragement to you is as you are waiting on Jesus that you maximize on time by making the most of your time. God did not create you just for you to go to work everyday, then die. Your life has more purpose than that. If you are not living to your full potential you can’t blame anyone but yourself. 

We will never know when it will be our time to meet the Almighty, so make sure your time here on earth has meaning. What will be your legacy? What will people say about your character? What did you do for others or did you consume yourself with only helping yourself? As you wait for Jesus, be busy in the process. Never be idle. Never simply do nothing. Stop making excuses.

The time we have here is very limted, so use it wisely. The people you meet have a purpose. The choices you met have outcomes. Pray with ceasing. Ask God daily to direct your path. Forgive quickly. When it’s finally your time to meet Jesus, make sure that meeting is full,of joy and happiness. Make sure when you close your eyes on this side that you hear those words from God on the other side, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” 

One of the hardest things for me to do at times is letting go. Whether it’s letting go of habits that need to be changed, clothes that no longer fit or people in my life whose season has come and gone. I will admit, I’m just that type of person that tried to hold on even after God and the person has shown me that they are not beneficial for the place he is taking me. 

Letting go hurts.

But letting go is where God has me right now. Over the course of this year he has shown me who my core friends are. These are the friends that call/text to check on me and my family. These are the friends who make an effort to ensure our friendship is solid and real. Life is busy for all, but when someone takes time to hang out with you, they really value your friendship. These are the friends that support your dreams and goals. Even if they have no personal intrest in what you are trying to do, they still make sure you know you are supported. 

I never have to ask my real friends for support. And they never have to ask me to support them in what they are trying to accomplish. That is just what true friendship is…

It hurts, but letting go of some people has actually given me more peace. Finally I am realizing who are my ride and die friends, as opposed to those who are only in my life to benefit them. 

I am so over being there for some people and they are not there for me. When they have a new book or anything exciting going on their lives, I buy whatever it is. I am,there for their event. Yet, I don’t get the same love back. 

Confusing…

I am so over texting people and there is no response. Yet, when they see me out and about they feel guilty and instantly remember I texted them. Naw, you can keep that type of friendship! 

Yes it hurts to let some people go, but I now see them for who they are. I trust God to introduce new people to me that will value the type of friendship I care to share. I trust God with my heart because it is broken by the actions of others. I trust God with my future. I trust God with my life. 

To the left, to the left! I forgive you, but I’m moving on. 

I am totally a people person, but sometimes liking people can be difficult. I say this because when I consider you a friend, I give 110%. But, often times i’m the one who gets the short end of the stick in the friendship/relationship. 

Because I’m a natural extrovert (and a dental hygient) my first instinct is to engage in conversation. I love to talk and encourage people. But, sometimes people can be really mean. I try to remain focused because their actions have nothing to do with me. I was just the one on the receiving end from the stress they were enduring. 

For example the other day, I brought my patient back to begin his appointment. This is a gentleman I see every six months, who is generally a upbeat person. But, this time he had a chip on his shoulder. I had him sit in my chair and I asked, “How are you today?” His response was, “I’m here!” It kinda took me off guard cause it was kinda a smart out the mouth answer. But, I let it go and proceeded to clean his teeth. 

Unbeit known to me until he told me, he also had an appointment with the dentist right after his cleaning in which he was to have some teeth extracted and other stuff completed. Apparently this had him on edge. 

When he first responded in a different manner, I am so glad I focused on the man I previously knew and not the anxious one sitting in my chair that day. For one moment, I didn’t like him, but God reminded me to still show love regardless. And i’m glad I did. 

My personality never changed despite how I was responded to and I believe God took noticed and was pleased by my actions. 

So remember when you encounter someone who may be  short with you in their responses or manner, it may not have anything to do with you. Unfortunately, you are just the receiver for all the stress and pressure they’ve endured. Yes, at that moment it’s hard to  like the person, but you must always show love. ❤

I think we’ve all been there, giving our all to someone only to be blindsided that your all was not enough for that person. It hurts and the pain is real. But, after you’ve cried your last cry, you have to realize that you are enough. You are amazing. You are loving and you deserve to be loved in a healthy nurturing way. 

Just because that person did not value you or your love shouldn’t make you feel differently about yourself. If you gave it your all, then walk away from the relationship proud of the love you showed. Be proud that you maintained your self respect and self love. 

You will never be everything to everybody. Be ok with that. The right one will come at the right time…Gods timing. Some people will never appreciate a blessing until it’s gone. 

Never think of yourself as less than.You were born great. You were born with everything you need within you to succeed. Trust me, your disappearance out of their life will be an awakening. You were there for a reason. It may not have worked out the way you wanted it to, but it worked out for your good! 

You are enough and that should be enough.

Who are you? Who am I? Why have we allowed society to label us? I am a spirit clothed in skin. Skin in which may be darker than some, yet it still encloses my being. Yes, my hair may be kinky and my teeth are pearly white, but still that is not who I am. Throughout life I am forced to check a box so another can determine who I am and how they will treat me. From that moment,the very moment I was born…I was labelled. 

Depending on which box I mark in life will at times depend on if I get the job or not. By marking a box, I am allowing the world to label me. So not what God intended. 

All I ask is that you look past my skin and see my heart. See that I love people and I want peace in earth. Don’t set a prejudgement by my skin and assume I will never make it. I am a human just like you. My blood is also red, so don’t label me differently than you. 

Even if I speak differently than you, I still have a voice that should be heard. I may at times switch up my verbs and adjectives in my sentences, but that doesn’t mean I’m not educated. My dialect at times is a reflection of my pain and struggles.

When will the world stop with all the labels? No one wins. Whether you’re too tall, too fat, too dark or too pale, someone always has something negative to say. All I ask is that you get to know me for me. Learn the person that I am. And aftetwhich, if you’ve decided that I am not your cup of tea, at least you tried to know me. You then have the right to not like me. But only me. Not an entire race.

I get everyone may not not like everyone, but the word of God clearly tells us to love one another. Love despite color of skin. Love despite hair texture. Love despite gender or sexuality. You don’t have to agree, but you are still suppose to love. 

Labels cause division. No one is ever born claiming to be a certain race. We are taught that. No one is born claiming they are poor, until someone says to them that they are. No one is better than another. We were all born naked and it is guaranteed that we all are gonna die one day. Die without taking a single thing we’ve accumulated from this Earth with us. We are all gonna die one day and the only label the grave will have is dead!

Stop labelling and love one another. 

I just watched a clip with David Chappelle as he talked to the late Maya Angelou. At one point in the discussion he eluded to the fact that in the 60’s with so many assassinations of great people why wasn’t she angry. She replied that she was angry and that it was okay to be angry for what happened. But, you can never allow bitterness to take a hold of your heart. Bitterness is like poison. This is so very true and once I learned this principle I was free…a new person.

I got a divorce in 2011, and after which I was full of emotions. I had heard about a class I could take at my church for those going through a divorce called, Divorce Care. Didn’t know too much about it, but thought I would give it a shot. They even had divorce care classes for the children, in which I thought was awesome.

In this class, I learned that it’s ok to be angry. I never knew that. I thought being angry was like committing a sin. I wanted to scream, shout and throw a fit due to how I felt I was treated, but I held it inside due to fear that God would be upset with me. There were many references in the Bible that showed it’s okay to be angry. Even God was angry at different times in the Bible, but the only thing is…you can not hold on to anger because it will turn into bitterness and that is not pleasing to God.

I will say, I believe one of my worst, yet best attributes is that I let things go. In time I just get over it and let it go. Life is too short. Now that I have learned that it’s ok to be angry, I embrace it (never denying my emotions), but I never allow it to take up residence in my heart. I don’t ever want my anger to turn into bitterness nor hatred.

I am still a work in progress, but I can now be free in knowing I’m normal and God is not going to cast me into Hell for getting angry. I love who I am and I love people. Do I agree with everything people do? Nope, but I can’t focus on that. I have to focus on being the best person I can be at all times. Praying and slow breathing help me to not “punch a person in the face.” LOL!! But, in the end, I am human. God knows I am trying. We talk daily and he helps me to not sweat the small stuff because he has a greater plan for my life.

So be encouraged, there’s nothing wrong with you. Embrace your emotions, but don’t allow them to set up shop. Learn to let stuff go and be FREE!

I got married in 2005. Should I had? Probably not, but I did. I thought I was getting old and I honestly wanted children. My boyfriend at the time was a good guy. I think we all have issues, but to be honest I ignored some red flags that I should have paid more attention to. For the most part he treated me nice. I really didn’t have any complaints. We argued and we made up. Typical I suppose for any relationship. One time we broke up, another female got in the picture and it was then I knew I didn’t want to be without him. Was I in love? No, but I did love him. So eventually we got engaged and a year to the day we met we got married. Fast to some, but we did it.

We got pregnant right away. All intentional. We wanted kids. Guess he thought he was getting old too. Had a boy, then got pregnant again and had another boy. Life got busy. Marriage got hard. More fights began to occur. Depression set in. I wanted to die.

One day he decided we should move south for a new start. Hey, I am a free-spirited person I went along with it. I packed up our four bedroom, two car garage and left the East without a job, only with my faith.

I felt imprisoned. I knew no one yet so I had to get to know the people he already knew. They were nice. They became like family. I was content for the most part, but I still longed for my own friends. Friends outside of the church we were attending.

In the South, things got worse before they got better. I began to fear for my life. It was like I was living two different lives. I smiled in front of people, but at home I was crying my eyes out like a baby. I didn’t want to live like this. God can not want me to live in such fear. One night I made a decision. This was one of the hardest decisions I had ever made. I decided I wanted a divorce. Getting a divorce would mean splitting up the family, but I was in so much pain, I only wanted peace. I didn’t want to take the boys away from their dad, but I really thought if I’d stayed I would have died.

Many people stay in marriages for the children, but that would not have been wise for me. They saw us arguing, and I didn’t want them growing up with that as a constant memory in their minds. My focus was on them. Their health and happiness. I didn’t want them to see us fighting or me crying everyday. I wanted their childhood to be full of great memories.

God made a way for me to leave. It took a lot of faith and courage. I left with no job and no money, but God provided for me and my boys everyday and in every way. My life is happy now and me and their dad are on good terms. Forgiveness played a big role and it took me years to totally forgive him, but I can honestly say I do and I am in a great place in my life.

For those in abusive relationships, I would encourage you to look out for you. Your happiness and well being are important to God. Love yourself and in faith make a decision that will cause you to get your happy back!


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