Yes, you can live your best life!

Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

Recently a family member of someone I know was placed in the ICU department of a certain hospital. Later when that person posted a update on Facebook to inform people of the status of their family member, they said they were loving on her as much as possible as she waited on Jesus. 

Her statment caused me to ponder. Isn’t that something we all are doing unconsciously? True, many of us are as healthy as a horse, but we all know this fact…at some point we will all die and meet Jesus. 

The factual and inevitible is that we are all on borrowed time. The day we took our first breath, an end date was given to us. No one knows this end date or how the end date will transpire, that is why it is very important to live the best and happiest life you can. 

My encouragement to you is as you are waiting on Jesus that you maximize on time by making the most of your time. God did not create you just for you to go to work everyday, then die. Your life has more purpose than that. If you are not living to your full potential you can’t blame anyone but yourself. 

We will never know when it will be our time to meet the Almighty, so make sure your time here on earth has meaning. What will be your legacy? What will people say about your character? What did you do for others or did you consume yourself with only helping yourself? As you wait for Jesus, be busy in the process. Never be idle. Never simply do nothing. Stop making excuses.

The time we have here is very limted, so use it wisely. The people you meet have a purpose. The choices you met have outcomes. Pray with ceasing. Ask God daily to direct your path. Forgive quickly. When it’s finally your time to meet Jesus, make sure that meeting is full,of joy and happiness. Make sure when you close your eyes on this side that you hear those words from God on the other side, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” 

The older I get the more God opens my eyes to the different personalities of people. Some of these personalities blend well with mine, while there are others who leave me hurt and confused by their actions. 

Back in 2008, Bishop TD Jakes spoke a sermon on the three types of friends. As he proceeds into his sermon he warns those listening to watch out for the character of people. 

The first group are CONFIDONTS. You will have very few of these on your life. These are your “ride or die” type of friends. They will be in your corner through Hell and high water. Whether you are up or down, they will have your back. These people don’t drain you, but rather pour back into your life so that you can pour into others. I can honestly say, I know who these people are in my life. 

The next group are the CONSTITUENTS. These people are not about you. They are merely into what you’re for. They aren’t really into you. They aren’t really your friend. They are in your life only because they like what you like. 

The third group are the COMRADES. This group of people are really not in your life for the long term. They come for a certain purpose, then they leave. Don’t expect them to react to your visions/dreams/goals the way you thought they would because they never really believed in you in the first place. 

Be careful who you tell your dreams to. 

During this year, God has truly shown me who these three types of people are in my life. I vent to God and to my husband regarding how I thought certain people were my “true” friends, yet their actions prove something different. My weakness is that I always believe the best in people. I don’t want to think bad of anyone, but some people just need to exit my life. 

It hurts that I have ask for help or support from people that I’ve wholeheartedly supported during their time of acting on the vision God has given them. For example,  I can send text messages for support with no responses. Only to send a follow up a few days later asking if they got my text, and their answer is, “yes.” Wow, I was totally disregarded. Hurts, but I know God has a plan. 

Everyone in your life is not going to be for you when you need them. This I know as truth. But, God will always be there and will supply you with not only what you need, but also put you in the company of those who will help you. 

Never give up on your dreams and goals because it seems like no one supports you. If God gave you the dream all you need to do is keep believing and trust him. Trust him, one step at a time. Trust him, one day at a time. 

Below, i’ve attached the video of the sermon if you’re interested in hearing it.

https://youtu.be/DjnuvrhZ4FU

I am totally a people person, but sometimes liking people can be difficult. I say this because when I consider you a friend, I give 110%. But, often times i’m the one who gets the short end of the stick in the friendship/relationship. 

Because I’m a natural extrovert (and a dental hygient) my first instinct is to engage in conversation. I love to talk and encourage people. But, sometimes people can be really mean. I try to remain focused because their actions have nothing to do with me. I was just the one on the receiving end from the stress they were enduring. 

For example the other day, I brought my patient back to begin his appointment. This is a gentleman I see every six months, who is generally a upbeat person. But, this time he had a chip on his shoulder. I had him sit in my chair and I asked, “How are you today?” His response was, “I’m here!” It kinda took me off guard cause it was kinda a smart out the mouth answer. But, I let it go and proceeded to clean his teeth. 

Unbeit known to me until he told me, he also had an appointment with the dentist right after his cleaning in which he was to have some teeth extracted and other stuff completed. Apparently this had him on edge. 

When he first responded in a different manner, I am so glad I focused on the man I previously knew and not the anxious one sitting in my chair that day. For one moment, I didn’t like him, but God reminded me to still show love regardless. And i’m glad I did. 

My personality never changed despite how I was responded to and I believe God took noticed and was pleased by my actions. 

So remember when you encounter someone who may be  short with you in their responses or manner, it may not have anything to do with you. Unfortunately, you are just the receiver for all the stress and pressure they’ve endured. Yes, at that moment it’s hard to  like the person, but you must always show love. ❤

One of my gifts is that of an encourager. I am very grateful for this gift because it enables me to speak into the lives of others and give them a word of hope. My gift is so sensitive that I can even sense stuff going on with people even if I’m not around them on a regular basis. What I mean by that is, God will place a certain person in my heart and I will contact them out of the blue and give them a word of encouragement. Everytime, I do this the person is going through a storm and my words lifted their spirits/emotions. 

I don’t take my gift for granted. 

I believe we all have a gift and we should carry out our gifts to their full potentials. 

But to be honest, at times encouraging others on a daily basis is draining and sometimes I simply want someone to reach out and encourage me. It’s shocking how so many people are engulfed in their own problems that they don’t take time to check on their own friends. It’s hurts often, but I try to pray and get past it. 

My phone rings very few times with someone who just wants to say hi or to simply check on how I’m doing. 

So many times when i’m feeling alone, I turn to God for strength. I know I can always talk to him about anything and at any time. When I need encouragement, he sends me to his word. I feel much better after I good conversation with my Heavenly Father. 

Another thing I do is become my own cheerleader. Since no one else really knows my struggles or successes, I celebrate myself. I give myself a high five. Others may not text or call me, but I can be there for myself! 

So I want to encourage you, if you ever feel as no one cares about you. Realize that God really cares and he will be there for you when no one else is. God will encourage and celebrate you, but you have to be able to celebrate yourself too. Stop depending on others for what you can give yourself. 

I’m learning to celebrate and encourage myself by doing things for myself. Even if it’s simple things like buying myself an ice cream cone or a snicker candy bar. I love myself. I love my gift of encouragement. And I will never stop loving people or myself. 


Have you ever been in any type of relationship that was draining to you? You would put your all in time and time again, only to walk away unfulfilled, exhausted and frustrated at the end of the day. Often times it’s because that relationship is not for you, so stop trying to force it to work. 
Relationships take true efforts and work from all those involved. One can not be a taker and never contribute anything towards its growth. Relationships take nurturing and time. True relationships should mean more than liking a picture or status on social media. It should possess the effort of meeting in person at different times and talking face to face. 

If you are the good seed in the relationship and you have the best intentions of growing, but you are feeling “choked” by the constant one-way efforts on your part. Then, you need to find better soil; a better relationship. Find one in which you can grow and you both are fulfilled. Find one in which it takes both involved to have the best results.

Stop wasting your time and efforts where you are not appreciated and uplifted. Plant yourself where you will grow.

I think we’ve all been there, giving our all to someone only to be blindsided that your all was not enough for that person. It hurts and the pain is real. But, after you’ve cried your last cry, you have to realize that you are enough. You are amazing. You are loving and you deserve to be loved in a healthy nurturing way. 

Just because that person did not value you or your love shouldn’t make you feel differently about yourself. If you gave it your all, then walk away from the relationship proud of the love you showed. Be proud that you maintained your self respect and self love. 

You will never be everything to everybody. Be ok with that. The right one will come at the right time…Gods timing. Some people will never appreciate a blessing until it’s gone. 

Never think of yourself as less than.You were born great. You were born with everything you need within you to succeed. Trust me, your disappearance out of their life will be an awakening. You were there for a reason. It may not have worked out the way you wanted it to, but it worked out for your good! 

You are enough and that should be enough.

I got married in 2005. Should I had? Probably not, but I did. I thought I was getting old and I honestly wanted children. My boyfriend at the time was a good guy. I think we all have issues, but to be honest I ignored some red flags that I should have paid more attention to. For the most part he treated me nice. I really didn’t have any complaints. We argued and we made up. Typical I suppose for any relationship. One time we broke up, another female got in the picture and it was then I knew I didn’t want to be without him. Was I in love? No, but I did love him. So eventually we got engaged and a year to the day we met we got married. Fast to some, but we did it.

We got pregnant right away. All intentional. We wanted kids. Guess he thought he was getting old too. Had a boy, then got pregnant again and had another boy. Life got busy. Marriage got hard. More fights began to occur. Depression set in. I wanted to die.

One day he decided we should move south for a new start. Hey, I am a free-spirited person I went along with it. I packed up our four bedroom, two car garage and left the East without a job, only with my faith.

I felt imprisoned. I knew no one yet so I had to get to know the people he already knew. They were nice. They became like family. I was content for the most part, but I still longed for my own friends. Friends outside of the church we were attending.

In the South, things got worse before they got better. I began to fear for my life. It was like I was living two different lives. I smiled in front of people, but at home I was crying my eyes out like a baby. I didn’t want to live like this. God can not want me to live in such fear. One night I made a decision. This was one of the hardest decisions I had ever made. I decided I wanted a divorce. Getting a divorce would mean splitting up the family, but I was in so much pain, I only wanted peace. I didn’t want to take the boys away from their dad, but I really thought if I’d stayed I would have died.

Many people stay in marriages for the children, but that would not have been wise for me. They saw us arguing, and I didn’t want them growing up with that as a constant memory in their minds. My focus was on them. Their health and happiness. I didn’t want them to see us fighting or me crying everyday. I wanted their childhood to be full of great memories.

God made a way for me to leave. It took a lot of faith and courage. I left with no job and no money, but God provided for me and my boys everyday and in every way. My life is happy now and me and their dad are on good terms. Forgiveness played a big role and it took me years to totally forgive him, but I can honestly say I do and I am in a great place in my life.

For those in abusive relationships, I would encourage you to look out for you. Your happiness and well being are important to God. Love yourself and in faith make a decision that will cause you to get your happy back!


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